TalentSmart company, developing and evaluating emotional intelligence (NO) - the ability to be aware, understand, create and manage emotions - presented the results of the latest study based on a survey of more than a million people. It revealed, that people with a high EI live best (90% respondents from among the most successful). The cornerstone is self-control: to achieve success, do not hit with the palm of your hand, but with a tightly clenched fist.
It's not easy to learn, and losing self-control is easy. Psychologist Martin Seligman Group (University of Pennsylvania) asked two million people to distribute 24 their skill or skill in descending order. Self-control is in the very last place.
And productivity depends primarily on him.. You can endlessly regret missed opportunities, forgetting about achievements. В этом вся суть: it is self-control that is the key to success. Lose it and you are well on your way to failure.. As if you were on a Monday diet, tuesday and even wednesday, and at night from Thursday to Friday we climbed into the refrigerator and had a full blast. It's a step forward and two steps back.
What successful people with high emotional intelligence do to, to control yourself and be on top? There are twelve behavioral practices. Successful people use them consciously.. Some practices are obvious, some - on the contrary, understandable only intuitively, but they will all help you learn to control yourself and achieve success.
1. Don't scold yourself
Lack of self-control leads to frustration. It's a vicious circle. Usually frustration turns into aggression or depression.. You made a mistake - it happens; forgive yourself and move on. Поймите, how did this error affect you?. Deal With Your Feelings, don't lock them in the corners of your brain. And find a solution, so as not to step on the same rake in the future.
Self-esteem needs to be maintained. Mistakes, usually, caused by unjustified risk, when you take on a difficult task. People with high emotional intelligence are confident: the key to success is the ability to stand up after a stroke of fate. If you constantly think about the past, get up and go to the future after the fall will not work. Risk is an essential and essential component of success. History teaches you, so don't neglect her. But do not put it at the forefront - look to the future..
2. Learn to say no
Researchers at the University of California (San Francisco) доказали: the harder it is for you to say no, the more susceptible you are to stress and even clinical depression. Of course, for self-control this is not very useful. Saying no is a rare skill. But this is a very important word - use it! "Well., Do not know", "I'm not sure about something" - such expressions demonstrate a lack of self-control. Say no to your current situation, and "yes" to that, чего вы хотите достичь. "No" to yourself or others is the very word, which will allow you not to stand still, but move forward.
3. Don't strive for excellence
People with high emotional intelligence don't strive for excellence: they understand, that it is unattainable. Humans tend to make mistakes. Set yourself a goal to achieve the ideal, and on this thorny path you will be constantly hindered by the feeling of imperfection. In the end, you either die effort, either give up. Isn't it better to praise yourself for what you have achieved and make new plans?
4. Focus on solutions
From that, what is the focus of attention, the emotional state directly depends. When you're focused on problems, you face, negative emotions arise and develop, interfering with self-control. If you focus on action, which you will commit, to improve your situation and circumstances, you will have a sense of your own effectiveness, evokes positive emotions and increases productivity. People, able to manage emotions, don't get hung up on problems, knowing, that work will be more productive, if you focus on solutions.
5. Don't ask “What, if a?»
Offers, starting with the words “what, if", fuel stress and anxiety, detrimental to self-control. There are a million different scenarios, and the more time you spend worrying about, что может произойти, the less time you have for action, - and the less productive you are. Successful people know: the question “what, if "does not lead them to the desired result, and there is no need to follow this path. Certainly, scenario planning is a necessary and effective method of work. However, it is necessary to distinguish anxiety from strategic thinking..
6. Concentrate on the positive
Positive thinking promotes self-control, because then your brain is focused on the reward, which you get for your efforts. You need to steer your wandering brain a little, deliberately choosing something positive for reflection. Any positive thought is enough, to divert attention.
When everything is going well, and you are in a good mood, there is nothing particularly difficult about self-control. When things don't go well, and your mind is full of negative thoughts, self-control becomes a real test. At such moments, it is worth mentally reviewing your day and finding one positive event., which has happened or will happen, maybe, even the smallest. If you can't find anything today, think about the past or look into the future. Вся суть в том, to find something positive, what are you ready to turn your attention to, when negative thoughts grip you, and keep a positive attitude.
7. Watch your diet
When you focus on self-control, your brain burns a huge portion of its glucose stores. When your blood sugar is low, you succumb to destructive impulses much easier. Sugary foods provide a rapid release of sugar into the bloodstream, but soon after, you are hungry again and are subject to impulsive decisions. Wholegrain rice or meat gives the body a slow, even nourishment and allows it to maintain self-control for longer.. That's why, if you can't walk past the office candy box, when hungry, be sure to eat something else, if you want to have a chance to win.
8. Don't forget about sleep
Need to understand, how important is sleep, to manage emotions and stay focused. Your brain is literally recharged while you sleep., going through the memories of the day, some of which he retains, and part removes (that's why we dream), so that you wake up vigorous and with a clear head. And self control, and attention, and memory decline, when you don't sleep enough or not. Not getting enough sleep by itself increases stress hormone levels even in the absence of stressors, and this is detrimental to productivity. When you're busy, often seems, that sleep must be sacrificed to be productive, but lack of sleep reduces your performance so much during the day, what is better to go to sleep.
When you get tired, the brain's ability to metabolize glucose is greatly reduced. This makes it difficult to control impulses., отвлекающие внимание. Besides, when you don't get enough sleep, you crave sweets more, to compensate for low glucose. That's why, if you are trying to keep track of your diet, a good daily night's sleep is the best, что вы можете предпринять.
9. Занимайтесь физкультурой
Ten minutes of physical activity releases GABA, conductor of impulses between nerve cells, which gives a sense of clarity of thought and controls the urge to action. If you find it difficult to resist the impulse to overtake those in front and be the first to enter the office door, just keep walking. Back on walks, you will be in better control.
10. Meditate
Meditation allows the brain to become a self-controlling mechanism. Even simple techniques improve self-awareness and the brain's ability to resist destructive impulses. For example, The thought-free technique works great, according to which it is necessary not to concentrate on anything at least five minutes a day, except for your breath and sensations. Buddhist monks appear calm and confident for this very reason.. And you try.
11. Control the waves
The strength of desires and other factors, отвлекающих внимание, changes in time, as the ebb and flow. When the desire is too strong, подождите, until the momentum weakens to such an extent, what will become controllable. When you feel, unable to resist, resist temptation and wait just ten minutes. Then you will find, that the huge wave of desire has become just a faint ripple in the water and is easy to overcome.
12. Suppress negative thoughts
An important final step in achieving self-control is suppressing negative thoughts in the bud.. Most of the time, these are just thoughts., not facts. During these reflections, your inner voice prompts, that it's time to stop and write them down. Drop everything and write it down, что думаете. Stopping the wave of negative thinking, you will be able to more rationally and sensibly assess their veracity.
We argue, you will find, that your notes with words like "never", "worst", "Always" is not true? If your statements on paper still look like facts, show them to a friend or colleague, whom you trust and see, will he agree with you. Then the truth will come out. Identifying and fixing your own thoughts separately from the facts will help you break out of the vicious circle of negativity and build a positive outlook on life..